In a better world, he wouldn't be. He'd be chasing fugitives from justice, or tracking down serial killers, or beating psychopaths at their own deadly game. But evidently there's a small clause in the charter for the U.S. Marshals Service that gives them exclusive jurisdiction over cheese-related crimes. Who knew?

Lucas isn't exactly a stranger to Wisconsin, and he knows it's full of colorful personalities — enough to populate a Virgil novel with a few left over. But now he's going toe-to-toe with a megalomaniacal dairy tycoon, a cutthroat Québécois cheese cartel out for revenge, an "Eat Cheese And We'll Kill You" contingent of militant Vegans... and those seem to be the more stable ones. There are a few people in the fringes who seem to be truly crazed.

And Lucas knows that it would take more than a truly crazed person to steal the cheese. They'd also need a truck. Probably.